# 435 - 09/09/2009 at 11:12 | 2 Comments | Share
Man up and go for it, NOW! Before it's too late, he's on his way to her house, like, now! You should've taken her up on her offer to go up to the ass-end of nowhere with her.

# 97 - 07/14/2009 at 05:28 | 1 Comments | Share
In 4th grade, when you want to race across the gym to the brick wall. Let him win. Your front teeth will appreciate it...

# 94 - 07/14/2009 at 01:13 | 2 Comments | Share
TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL, BEFORE SHE'S GONE! ! ! ! !

# 454 - 09/17/2009 at 01:59 | 1 Comments | Share
don't even bother studying your butt off in high school. all you get is a bunch of formulas imprinted on your face and hands from falling asleep on your freshly written flashcards. and you end up at community college anyways.

# 218 - 07/25/2009 at 04:30 | 8 Comments | Share
teach all these freaks how to spell the word "masturbate," and avoid a tremendous amount of irritation and stree caused by a lack of spell check.

# 150 - 07/19/2009 at 01:18 | 3 Comments | Share
Dear High School Me, Girls like the cock. Way more than you think. Don't try too hard, just be nice and they will come... and they will come...

# 238 - 07/27/2009 at 07:10 | 4 Comments | Share
When your new boyfriend tells you his family has "complete veto power over his love life," dump his ass IMMEDIATELY- regardless how big his dick is, how funny he is, or how much he likes interacting orally with the hoo hoo--- he's a sadistic whack job!

# 75 - 07/13/2009 at 11:00 | 1 Comments | Share
UGGGH!! Don't park your new car on the corner of Santa Monica and Harper. You just got it today, and your theft insurance isn't active until tomorrow.

# 338 - 08/21/2009 at 01:11 | 1 Comments | Share
Don't worry about anything they say, take it as a compliment and be yourself!

# 254 - 07/30/2009 at 02:15 | 5 Comments | Share
You know that vibrating popsicle you found in mommy's underwear drawer? Don't put it in your mouth. It's dirty.

# 228 - 07/27/2009 at 10:21 | 6 Comments | Share
If you're friends start calling a girl Crushinator, and you don't like her, then that's when you stop seeing the Crushinator. End of story.

# 227 - 07/27/2009 at 09:53 | 2 Comments | Share
You should've kissed him. The sunset, the waterfalls, it would've been perfect. If there's another opportunity, which there will be, DO IT.

# 72 - 07/13/2009 at 10:51 | 1 Comments | Share
dont have sex with your boss. just. dont. do it.

# 328 - 08/19/2009 at 12:18 | 4 Comments | Share
Don't tell him you love him. You'll become more of a bother than everyone else. You don't want that. To have both of you happy, you just need a healthy attitude. Keep being the quiet kid who pays attention to him and smiles at him and comforts him, but he's made a difference to you. Don't ask for more - it'll just ruin everything. Don't seek him out - you may have self-worth issues, but this time you are right about what he thinks of you. Be thankful you met him, grieve as you need to, and expect better days that will indeed come. If you have a little faith all will be fine.

# 290 - 08/10/2009 at 12:00 | 0 Comments | Share
When you go to the strip club, don't go to the VIP rooms. Some dude jizzed on the floor and you of all people are the one to slip and fall in it. Having a bunch of strippers laugh at you doesn't help either.